“I need my blankie. . . “


When each of our kids was very small {think newborn or days old}, we gave them a small blanket for their comfort, sleep signal item. I knew that kids often grow attached to something anyway, so I wanted to steer my children in the direction of something that was fairly small for carting around as kids do, and  was washable, because not all stuffed animals or dolls are. Before I ever even had children, I came upon these wonderful little blankets made by Barefoot Dreams. They are perfect in size and are edged with satin for that child that likes to rub something. Novia and Audri each have pink ones and Colt has a blue blanket. I love that they are small {12″x12″} and easy to throw in the diaper bag for when a nap away from home is necessary, but their size can be a hindrance too… they can easily be lost. We had that happen recently and it.was.devastating.

Sometime on Sunday afternoon, Audri’s blanket went M.I.A. We didn’t really notice at first because Adam and I took the girls to the stock-car races that evening. When we got home, however, and were putting the girls to bed, Audri asked for her blankie as per usual. Except this time I couldn’t find it. We had had friends come over for lunch after church and as the girls played, the kids’ bedroom became quite a mess. We didn’t have time for the girls to clean their room before we left for the races, but I hadn’t been concerned because I knew they could put it back in order the next day. I did my best to search through the mounds of dress-up clothes on the floor and the doll cradle piled high with dollies and stuffed animals.  Nothing.  I checked the living room and our bedroom since, on the weekends, the kids usually join us in our bed for a bit after they wake up. I just couldn’t find Audri’s precious lovey. I asked Novia if she would let Audri sleep with her blanket as Novia isn’t nearly as attached to her blankie as she once was. Of course Novia chose that moment to not want to part with it, but after a short talk about being selfless and how it would bless her sister, she handed her blankie to her sister. Audrianna shook her head vehemently and told me she didn’t want Novi’s blanket. Oh man… what to do. 
I finally convinced her to sleep with Novia’s lovey, telling her that we wouldn’t give up the search for her blanket and encouraging her to not give up hope. Towards sunrise, Audri came to our bedroom looking for her blankie again and was quite dismayed when I told her again that we didn’t know where it was. Nap time on Monday was difficult too, but she was temporarily comforted with a small giraffe blanket I found in the doll cradle. The biggest challenge would prove to be bedtime that night. Earlier in the evening while I was making dinner, I asked Novia to take apart their now clean room, one area at a time, in order to search for Audri’s lovey. Again, no luck. So bedtime was met with desperate tears and hopeless wailing. I mean, she didn’t even cry like that when we took her paci away! I told her again that we would just keep looking for her blanket. I said that I wouldn’t give up and that the moment I found it, I would bring it to her. We had prayed together several times throughout the day that the Lord would show us where this precious love was hiding. I prayed with her once more and tucked her in with her new giraffe buddy. Several hours later as I was working on some paperwork in the living room, she came out again all blurry eyed, with a quiet sob on her lips, in search of her beloved blanket. I pulled her into my arms and gently reminded her that we didn’t know where her lovey was.  She.began.to.cry.  I found my own heart clenching with the pain of my girlie longing for her precious, comforting friend. Knowing she was still in a sleepy haze, I took her back to bed and asked if I could tuck her back in with the giraffe blanket. As she silently nodded, I prayed once more in the quiet of my heart, that the Lord would show me where to look for Audri’s blankie. All of the sudden the picture of my old red purse which I had given to the girls for play, came to my mind. Audri had been carrying, no ~ lugging that purse around Sunday afternoon. I knew it must have been loaded down with items that were her “essentials” and I knew I had to look there. I pulled out the girls’ purse/bag bin and located the red purse. Sticking my hand inside, I felt the familiar texture of Audri’s lovey. I can’t fully express the joy I felt in finding this dearly loved blankie. It wasn’t a selfish joy because I didn’t have to search for it anymore; it wasn’t joy because she would stop crying {it wasn’t like she had thrown a tantrum. . . her tears were of sorrow and loss}; it was the joy of a parent who got to deliver great news to their child. I had a big smile on my face as I turned from the bin to Audri’s bed and tossed her blankie to land by her face. She was still unsure it was really hers, so she carefully pulled it to her nose to smell it and felt of it’s texture in her fingers {Audri’s blanket has a little more life left in it than Novia’s does}. Audri threw me a huge smile and then closed her eyes and gave a contented sigh. 
I found myself blinking back tears of joy and I whispered a prayer of thankfulness to my heavenly Father for answering my request for wisdom to know where to search. As I left the room where my babies slept, I felt like I understood the joy that God feels when He gives His us  good things for which we have been searching, praying, beseeching. Sometimes the waiting is long, but He is there quietly whispering to us to not give up, but to keep asking, hoping ~ trusting. He hears our cries and our longings and can’t wait to bestow on us what we ask. Not to shut us up, but because He loves us and enjoys giving us good things; He regards nothing as too small or insignificant.

“He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” – Rom. 8:32

I have often struggled with the idea that if I want something so much that it pains me, or it’s a battle to be patient in the waiting, then God will surely hold back from giving until I am perfectly content. What really hit me tonight was this ~ our longing for whatever we desire the Lord to give us isn’t wrong. It’s not sinful to cry over deferred dreams. The question we need to ask ourselves is, “Does my grief, my crying, my longing function hand-in-hand with faith, trusting my heavenly Father? Or am I throwing a spiritual tantrum because I’m not getting what I want: ie, believing that God is only good if and when I have what I think will make me happy?” If we belittle God and trust Him only when things are going our way, our joy is not full; our happiness is reliant on the gifts and not the giver. We know that even the best gifts lose their luster and we soon desire something else, but when our joy is rooted in the gift that cannot EVER lose it’s luster: our salvation ** [the very truth that God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love for us, even when we were dead in our sin, saved us through Jesus’ death on the cross and made us alive with Him through His resurrection]**, we will have a lighter grasp on the lesser things we desire and trust the timing and purposes of our Father all the more. I mean… those in Christ have already received the greatest gift!

“But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” 

If we are in Christ, we have a choice in how we respond to sufferings, to longings and unfulfilled desires. We can choose to wallow in the NOT-having or we can trust with hope [But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Rom. 8:25], that God has purposed this time for our good, our sanctification and for His glory. “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.” Rom. 8:28  It is helpful to remember that much of our spiritual fruit is produced in the valleys; in those struggles and times of waiting for that which we long. We need pruning so that we are able to be more fruitful in the future. These verses in Lamentations were recently brought to mind when a friend posted a few of them on social media. They are a great reminder to always hope [wait quietly] in God. 

My soul is bereft of peace; I have forgotten what happiness is;
so I say, “My endurance has perished: so has my hope from the Lord.”

Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall!
My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me.
But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”

The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.

It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief, 
he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love.

Lamentations 3:17-26, 31-32


Praying you find your hope in the Lord, today and moving forward. May you find yourself satisfied by the joy of your salvation even as you press on in prayer for what you desire.
**My own paraphrase from some powerful verses in Ephesians chapter 2. I encourage you to read the whole chapter for yourself**
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Written by Heidi Brachle

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